Potty Training

So I just have to report that potty training was amazingly funny yesterday. I put her in underwear because I thought that I would be more likely to run her to the bathroom if I was threatened with pee on my carpet. I was right. I ran her to the potty. But she still peed on my carpet. The second time was hilarious because she hated the feeling of pee on her legs and she started crying about it. And then it was naptime and so back into diapers she went so that she could nap. Hopefully today is better.

9:30 am...

And my baby is still sleeping. I've decided she's going to be an only child because she's an absolute angel. Why try for something better when you have the best the first time around? People only have more because they're thinking that the next one is going to turn out different (and by different I mean better) right? Just kidding. :)

Binkies, Potty Training and everything else

I have discovered something in the last few weeks that I think everyone should know. Life doesn't go as planned. In fact, take your plan think of it's opposite, and that's usually what actually happens. I determined after my stepson left (on August 15) that I was going to start potty training Brynn, take her off the pacifier except for naps, and teach her all of her shapes, her body parts and a few other things that I had in mind. It started out well. Very well intentioned anyway. The binky was going well. She really didn't mind not having it, except in the car where I simply suffered through her screaming thinking that eventually she would get the idea. Potty training was more of a challenge, not only does she not want to sit on the potty, but she thinks that it's a great idea to play with anything and everything around the toilet. But she never wants to actually go to the bathroom. Everything else was well intentioned, but still has yet to even be spoken of to Brynn. :)

Through circumstances, somehow everything fell apart. :) First, we had to go truck shopping to get my husband a truck after his accident. The insurance company took forever to total our last truck, so we were wandering around car lots for almost a month. We finally found our truck at the beginning of September, so that was over. Then two weeks later I volunteered to babysit my two cute neices while my brother and sister-in-law went on a sort of second honeymoon/family vacation with her family. All went well, I'm happy to report that only one of them ingested more than one piece of dog food. LOL. But obviously during this time of three children under the age of two, I gave Brynn her bink whenever she wanted it, I didn't take her to the potty, and simply keeping all three of them in the same room was enough of a challenge that I never did start trying to teach anything. I simply tried to make sure all were alive, well, fed, changed, and got down for their naps. Oh, and that I found time for at least enough food to make sure that I didn't die during that time.

So here we are at the end of that adventure....well, it's been over a week since I came home, and Brynn is still getting the binky whenever she asks for it, has only been put on the potty twice in a week, and again with not even mentioning the other learning activities I had planned. So back into the fray I go. Today will be the day that we're done with the binky (except at naptime cause I'm too chicken to just take it away completely today), I will put her on the potty at least twice, and I swear that I will mention to her that there are different shapes in the world, even if we don't get around to actually learning what they are and what they're called!

sixteen months old

My pictures always upload wrong, no matter how hard I try to make them upload in the right order. Guess I should stop trying to get order. This past week I brought Brynn into nursery because I'd forgotten to pack toys and books. As I watched her play, I realized how big she's getting.

From the time I found out she was going to be a little girl, I have been so excited to have my baby with me all the time. It was a hard pregnancy.

And a hard labor (easier them some, harder than others), but while the doctors were trying to get her to take a breath, I realized how much you can care about somebody else. It didn't matter that the doctor was still sewing me up and the epidural was wearing off really quickly while he did it.

It didn't matter that I'd been in labor for 24 hours and was pretty darn tired.

It didn't matter that I hadn't been able to breathe for nine full months...ok, maybe only seven and a half. All that mattered was that she needed to breathe. And when they finally got her to cry, tears came to my eyes. My beautiful baby girl.

I know she's still little, she just seems so big compared to what she was. I love her so much.

As of sixteen months old, she's trying to jump.

• Her brother introduced her to the joys of hopping around, and now she tries to all the time.
• She's now talking non-stop. Not all of it is intelligible, but she still talks as if we all know what she's trying to say. "NMMHMMGHMMTILMMAMAHMM". If anybody can interpret, I'd like to know what she's saying. She is saying things like "daay du" (thank you) "amen" "mama" "hi" "daee"(daddy) "no" (of course) "bye" and "baby".
• She does the funniest thing while she's talking. We've been taking the binky away from her except at nap time and bed time, but she still closes her mouth and mumbles as if the binky is in her mouth. I don't know why, maybe it's the laughter that she gets when she does it.
• She's such a sweet little girl to babies. It surprises me how gentle and loving she is because most kids her age would rather hit than cuddle, but if you show her a baby she will try and hold and love on it and she's really gentle most of the time.
• She's been a mama's girl from the beginning, but she's been really cute recently with coming and sitting on my lap for no reason. I love it.
• She's starting to learn her body parts. Her favorite to point out are her teeth and her tongue. She doesn't say either one yet, but she'll randomly start pointing to them and if you don't notice what she's doing, she'll come over and stand right in front of you and point at them and grunt.

My baby is adorable. I love her so much. I'm so grateful for this gift that Heavenly Father has given me.

so anybody who wants to weigh in...

I've been thinking a lot recently on the timing of when to have another one. I just quit babysitting yesterday (way too much stress and drama) and of course this has brought up the subject of when to start trying. I don't feel ready. I feel so emotionally stressed out that I just want to never do anything again (I hate that feeling). Josh, on the other hand, really doesn't want our kids more than two years apart (which really means I would have to get pregnant this month, hahaha). He's left the choice to me, and I really hate when he does that, because to me it feels like a cop out. But that's a discussion for a different time. My question to everyone out there, how big are the gaps between your kids? Did you find that one was REALLY better than another for them learning how to play and get along? Or was it just different? My stepson and daughter are four years apart, and that is definitely not a gap I want again. I know the two sisters just younger than me used to fight like cats and dogs and they were four years apart. Now they get along beautifully though, so I still have hope for my kids. I was three years from my closest sibling and I feel like that's still an ok age difference for most ages. But never having experienced it as a mother, I'm wondering what it's like from the mother's perspective. I know that ultimately this is my choice, and it's really not a logical one because Heavenly Father will send me another baby when He knows I'm ready (even if I don't feel I'm ready for it again), but I do like putting a lot of thought and research into my decisions (and if my parents are reading this, yes, this is a recent thing...lol). So any feedback would be great! :)

My baby

My baby started saying a few words recently. The movie made me laugh. Sorry it's super dark, there was a lot of light when I took it, but it looks pitch black on the video.

My husband was in a car accident a week ago. This is what our beautiful truck looks like now.

I'm grateful he wasn't hurt and as funny as this sounds, I'm grateful that it was him in his big old truck instead of some poor person in a smaller car. They could have been severely injured if it had been. Instead he walked away with some stiffness.

We're supposed to find out in the next few days whether the insurance company is totaling the truck today. The estimate for repairing it was $11,000. They'll probably total it, but we don't know for sure whether they are yet or not.

I'm surprised that the door didn't just pop right off.

I should have taken a picture of the rental truck Josh gets to drive for now. I'm almost wondering if he begged the guy to hit him just so he could drive something that nice. LOL. Just kidding. I am grateful for the miracles that let us know that Heavenly Father is watching over us.

Do you ever feel...

...like the world is watching, waiting, laughing while you fail?

I do.

Making cookies....

So there comes a time in everyone's life (I'm sure) that you realize that time moves faster than you can possibly know. For me it was the other day. My daughter had been sleeping (taking her nap). When she woke up I went in to pick her up and as she hugged me I thought If I don't take time with her right now, I'm not going to get time later. So I decided to make cookies with her.

As all of you can tell, I'm not great at blogging and so the pics are in the wrong order, but it's ok.

She tried to grab the kitchenaid while it was going. Almost took her hand off.

I love the time I was able to spend with her. Travis was still sleeping and so we were able to spend time just the two of us. Mommy and daughter time.

And she was a great help too. She tried to stir while I was putting more ingredients in (in between trying to take large bites of straight butter). It was an awesome time. I'm so blessed to have my baby girl. I love her so much and am grateful for the time that I have to spend with her and to make our relationship a close relationship.

The importance of in-laws

Disclaimer: To all who might read this post, I hope it will be taken in the spirit it was meant in. I love my family and I love my husband's family. I hope nothing said in this will be taken wrong, because I am not meaning that I love one at the expense of the other, just that our families are very different and I am learning from both and love both. I also hope some of the comments made will not be taken wrong, but will be taken how I meant them.

I have to say that when I first met my in-laws I thought that they were so completely awesome. They were way more affectionate then my family is (even though I saw them way more often), and they were way more open in things that I wish that my parents had been open with me about. Sadly, as all things do, the rosy hue came off and for a while I had a hard time going over there (course this could have been influenced by the problems my husband and I were having at the time). Some of the things I had loved previously, I now saw as failings. I liked all of them individually, but as I group I saw a lot of failings. Suddenly my family was the one with the absolute rosy hue about it. Just in the last year or year and a half I've started to realize (again)some of the reasons why my in-laws are so important to me. My family has always been a close family. We got along pretty well even as children (although my mom might say differently). If there's ever anything that needs to be said, we say it. If you ever need anything, you can be guaranteed that somebody in the family will be there no matter what! As I've watched the difference of my husband's family to my own, I have to say it's been weird at times, interesting at times, and downright hilarious even when it probably shouldn't have been. But I have learned so much from them.

I've learned how to love more fully then I did. It has always seemed like to me that my family was a lot more of the "You know that we love you even when we don't show it", "You know we're proud of you even though we don't say it". I love my husband's family for the openness of their love. Even though there are times when I don't like being hugged, I do like that they all are ready with open arms to say "We like you, we love you" and it's not just assumed because we're family, it's shown.

I've learned how to communicate differently. As my sister-in-law says "What makes your way right?" As I started out this journey with my husband, I always felt like "well why don't you say something? if there's a problem, they (or I) ought to be told." While I still hold to the position that you should say something if someone is going to make a horrible mistake, I've come to realize that everybody has to learn at their own rates and sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut. At least until they're ready to listen to you. And if they're never ready to listen, then I don't know what you do then, but I have come to realize more that sometimes the timing does matter. Sometimes people need to learn some stuff on their own first. And sometimes you aren't the best one to say something to them. Sometimes somebody else should be the one to say it.

I've also learned, that there is always hope. My family (from the outside) looks perfect. My brother went on his mission, out of eleven children, eight children are old enough to be married. Seven out of seven (that are married) are sealed in the temple. Hope was never a tangible thing for me. Things were just expected. I expect every one of my siblings to be married in the temple. I guess it is hope in action, but when I joined my husband's family I was taught even more about the power of prayer and hope in the changing of people's lives. Not everything is perfect, but there have been some amazing changes in all of our lives over the last three years and I know it's because people are praying for us, for Josh's siblings, and for his parents.

Most of all, I'm glad that I've learned that not everybody has to be like my family for me to like them. I know that sounds kind of stupid, but for a long time I had only one or two friends that were girls. I always thought that there were only a few women who were like my sisters. Since coming into my husband's family, I've realized more and more that I should never judge people by the first impression. It's only been three years and my sisters-in-law and I don't hang out on an every day basis, but I have come to respect and love each of them for their own strengths. I know that over the next forty or fifty years that there will be a lot more that I will learn from them and about them, but it's ok. We have the time, we'll be together for eternity.

It's definitely interesting trying to fit in in a "new" family. I don't know that I always do since we do things differently, but I am grateful for the chance that I have to learn from my in-laws. To learn a different way of doing things. To be able to take the good from them, leave the not so good (as I try and do in all relationships and friendships) and to (hopefully) become a better person. I'm so grateful for my husband. I'm grateful for his family. I can't say that I love them like he does since he has been with them longer, but I do love them and I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have been blessed with to become a part of their family.

Back to the blogging world

I can't believe how long it's been since I posted on my blog. They were talking yesterday in Sacrament Meeting about how when you write in your journal you shouldn't just write about the good stuff that happens because when children or grandchildren read your journals they should be able to read and find out how you dealt with problems that may be similar to the problems that they are going through at that time. I write in my journal every day, but I have to admit that I find it much easier to type. Don't worry, I will not be writing each and every problem that I have in my daily life, but it is something to think about how people could help and strengthen one another if they were to put ideas of how to help solve problems.

Josh and I have been talking alot recently about ideas of how to work from home or starting an at home business. We have wanted to start our own business since we got married, but we haven't been in the position to do much of anything. Slowly but surely we are getting out of debt and putting into savings and we're finally at the point where we are throwing out a bunch of ideas of things that can help to bring in some extra money for a while. Or ideas that will generate enough money that I could possibly support our family from home while Josh finishes his bachelor's. My mom never worked from home or outside of the home and I have to admit that the thought of it is very daunting for me. I always thought that once you got married and had kids you got to stay home and be the one who just managed the money or something. It's been eye opening for me to need to work for a while, then when I got pregnant Josh and I determined that we would never send the kids to a daycare for the whole day. But right now that means talking about me possibly being the bread winner while he goes to school full time. We're looking into many options right now, but it would be best for him to be able to hurry and finish his schooling so I only had to work outside the home for two years or so and then I would be back to being a supporting role at most or even not doing anything from home during that time. It's funny how life throws curves that you aren't prepared for. I assumed my life would be much like my mother's life, but there isn't a lot in my life that is like my mother's.