The joys of pregnancy

So I decided this weekend that there really is nothing that you can say to a pregnant lady that will make her feel good about her size. I posted some pictures on our family website and one of my sister's said that I still looked too skinny and that I wasn't showing at all. Now as flattering as that SHOULD be, I have to say that I was a little offended considering I've gained between 15 and 20 lbs, which is a little more than I'm supposed to have gained right now. So really it's not MY fault. Funny that such a comment would make me feel like I was failing as a pregnant woman. That somehow I wasn't gaining enough, or that I was doing something that was going to somehow harm my child. Two days later my little sister (who is 18) came into town and she saw me for the first time since I got pregnant. Her comment was "Wow, you look a lot more pregnant than you do in the pictures . . . Not that you really look that pregnant, you look really good. . . Did I just offend you?" It was kind of comical that she back tracked because the comment wasn't really that bad, and I wasn't offended, but again, it just didn't make me feel good. So I've got one sister who thinks I'm too skinny and one who thinks I look WAY pregnant in person. LOL. That's how it feels when you're pregnant. Really bothers me that no matter how nice a person is trying to be, I always feel like "How about you just don't comment on my size at all?" So then the next day I was shopping with my hubby when we ran into a woman who I've known since I was ten or eleven years old. Her comment "You know, I wouldn't have known you were pregnant had I not already heard it from (blank)". Again, the comment kind of nagged at me because I feel like I look like a fat cow and I'm sitting there thinking "Wait, I look like this regularly? Pre-pregnancy? I'm going to go SHOOT MYSELF!!! Or wait, even better, I'll go drown my sorrows about my pregnany weight in MORE FOOD!!! YEAH!!!" And the final comment that was probably the one that I felt couldn't be taken in a wrong way was when we ran into one of Josh's friends who I've only met once or twice. Josh told him I was pregnant and he was like "I thought so, but I wasn't going to say anything just in case I was wrong." It made me smile. But anyway, the point of all of this rambling is that I think that you just can't ever say the right thing to a pregnant lady about her size, so best would be to just not comment about it at all. But I have to say that my top five things that I love about pregnancy are:

5. It gives you a glimpse into (sort of) what it feels like to be 20, 30, 40 lbs heavier than you are pre-pregnancy. It's been a real motivator for me to make sure that I start exercising now, and continue even after my baby is born because the aches and pains which I'm experiencing now are not worth the joys of over-eating or no exercising.

4. Even though I'm sure this will be ten times more when the baby is actually born, but it makes you think about somebody else CONSTANTLY. I can't tell you how many times I've sat there thinking about what my baby is going to be like, whether what I'm doing is going to be good for the baby, waiting for her to move so I can just feel her inside me.

3. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm enthralled at the changes that are happening to my body. Easiest example, I've been steadily losing my belly button since about 3 months along. And at 5 1/2 months or so I think it's finally gone. It's been an adventure to watch it get shallower and shallower. It will probably become an outie in the next few weeks, and I know I'm going to get a kick out of that.

2. I love how much everybody tries to do for me. I've had more doors opened for me, I've had more people be courteous, ask me if I need some help carrying something. Just little things in stores, I get smiles, people moving their carts out of my way instead of just shoving me aside. It's rather amusing to watch sometimes.

1. And number one thing I love about being pregnant: I love feeling my little girl kick. Even though it's started into the painful side of it as she gets bigger, I think it's one of the coolest things on earth to feel her moving inside me. I already know that's the thing I'm going to miss the most.

Holidays

This weekend has been crazy and yet so good. I enjoy being around so many of my family and Josh's family. It was great! There were some funny and fun events that happened (besides the actual holiday), so that's what this blog is about I guess.

First of all, my brother Rob and his wife Cami had their first little baby girl on Saturday. She's the most adorable little thing you could ever find. She has so much black hair and really dark skin. My older sister said something like "If I didn't know Cami better I'd say that wasn't Rob's baby." But the baby has his eyes and his nose. And the poor little thing was a bit swollen after thirty hours of hard labor and being suctioned/forceped out of her comfortable little habitat. She has the cutest little cry (not a Hunter baby cry at all). I couldn't get over how something that little could be that big. And how something that big could have fit into my sister in law's stomach just hours before. Both mother and baby are doing well, though both are a little traumatized and sore.

As for the funny, my niece Gabby came up to me on Sunday at our family dinner and says "Aunt Stacey, you have a baby in your tummy?" So I told her yes and she said "So you don't get to eat?" And I said yes, I get to eat and tried to explain that my baby is in one part of my stomach and the food goes in another part. I demonstrated by pointing to the bottom part of my stomach for the baby and the top part for the food. So she looked a little confused and then said "So the food gets on the baby?" It was way cute. After explaining that no, the baby is protected so that nothing can hurt it or get on it, she then sits there for a second and after thinking a minute says "Aunt Stacey, is your baby going to be cute?" It made me laugh pretty hard.

Anyway, holidays were just awesome, and it's my 22 birthday today. Happy birthday to me! I can't believe that it's my birthday again. This year has seemed to drag in some ways, now all of the sudden it's over and I have no idea how it passed so quickly. Soon I'll have a baby, and I'll have no idea how it got here. But I love life right now, and I guess that's all that matters.

Being a stay-at-home mom

Yes, I know, I haven't really been one yet, but I just can't wait until the time comes for me to be able to stay at home with my beautiful babies. And yes, it will be plural because I'll have Travis all summer long. Even though I'm mostly scared to death, I'm really excited to have that opportunity. I'm really grateful to my wonderful husband who is working his butt off so that we can have enough so that I can stay at home with my kids. I don't think I ever appreciated how much both my mom and my dad sacrificed so that my mom could stay at home with all of us kids. They sacrificed so much time and money for all of us, so that we could grow up in a large family. I have to say that I still can't stomach pancakes because of how many times we ate that as children, and I'm really grateful that eventually my mom realized that oatmeal (no matter how it was prepared) really did cause me to throw up, I wasn't just being stubborn. But as I look back on childhood, I don't ever remember feeling deprived. It wasn't until I hit teenage years that I suddenly thought that life wasn't fair, but now that I'm in adulthood and just trying to figure out how to make life nice with what Josh makes and two small children, I have a lot more respect and appreciation for the life that my parents had. For the worries, for the heartaches, for the dreams that didn't get fulfilled so that they could pursue other dreams, dreams that didn't include big houses and expensive cars, but rather fridges full of hand drawn pictures, rooms with toys strewn all over them, old vans & suburbans and a four bedroom home that was filled to the bursting. Instead of trips to Hawaii and Europe, they traded that for trips to Grandma and Grandpa's house for us kids. Instead of being able to dine at all the fancy restaurants they traded it for dreams of leftovers, of the same (cheap) meal every time they sat down. For a lot of people this may seem like my parents were stupid, but I have to say that I'm grateful now for all of the things that they gave up so that I could be here with my ten siblings. I'm grateful that they gave it up so that I could learn to do without. I'm grateful that they gave it up so that I could learn what is important and what isn't that important. And so I'm grateful for two wonderful people, who at 18 and 21 somehow saw the dream of what my family is today and stuck to the hope of that dream no matter how much they had to give up and how hard they had to work. I'm also grateful for a wonderful husband who is a crazy wonderful dreamer like me, and is willing to give up things and work super hard so that hopefully someday we can have even a portion of that dream.

Nostalgia

So my coworker is playing songs at her desk and a country song "Remember When" came on just barely. I never really liked the song, but two years ago in October my Grandma Hunter passed away. As part of her memorial service/funeral, my aunt took all the pictures that they had found and put them on a slide show. Now you have to understand that my parents are the youngest in their families, and I'm one of their younger children, so even though I have many memories of my grandma, my grandpa died eight months after I was born. The slideshow was the most beautiful thing that I could ever imagine. It showed my grandma as she was growing up, and I have to admit, I never knew that she was quite that rough and tumble. By the time I can remember she had had open heart surgery, and my grandpa had been dead for a few years. The pictures of them were so tender. Even though there weren't any in there in which I would have said they were deeply in love the way they portray it in the movies, every picture I saw of them together showed that they loved each other in the deepest way possible. They were best friends, in every sense of the word. They were a part of each other in a way that you can't describe. They had gone beyond the two of them and had become one. Along with the slideshow they had the song "Remember When" playing as the pictures came across the screen. I have never felt that much sorrow for someone. As I watched my grandma's life come up on the screen I cried, not for myself, but for the opportunity I had always had, and never taken, to get to know who my grandma was inside. I cried as I realized that in the last twenty years since she had lost my grandpa that there really had been a part of her missing. That there was a big gaping hole where my grandpa used to be. I cried as I thought of their reunion on the other side of the veil. But a second now, but a long struggle for both as they were apart for twenty years. I met my husband the very next month. I really do love him with all my heart. It's taken a year and almost a half to realize that slowly our relationship is becoming the same type of relationship that my parents and grandparents enjoy. I don't think about this very often, but when the song came on it reminded me of this, since I met Josh I have known that more than likely he will pass away before me because I am almost ten years younger than him and women usually live longer than men. Even though I don't remember this all the time when the day-to-day struggles come creeping up, my heart will ache for him when the time comes that we are seperated in this life. I miss him when he isn't with me, and the last thing I love to hear every night is him breathing in the bed next to me. As the song played today I couldn't help but be thankful for the short time that I have had with my dear husband, and pray that there will be many more times that we will share. That some day we will look back on this time and think "Remember when..." and not remember the struggles of the day, but remember the days when the sun was shining down on us and the joy that we felt, even if it was just for one moment out of the day. To be able to still be holding each other's hands at the end of this life, with smiles on our faces, and love in our hearts.

Every time I hear that song now I am reminded of what it symbolizes for me. The union and oneness that I could see in my grandparents lives. The union and oneness that I see in my parents lives. I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to build that relationship with my husband, and that I don't need to be afraid for the seperation that is most certainly inevitable because I know that I will be able to be with him again. He is my love, my one and only, my perfectly imperfect best friend. I'm grateful for my eternal companion. Together for not only this life, but all the life to come.

So I just have to say that I feel so blessed to have my husband. I'm one of those people who tends to take things for granted but I just thought I'd publicly say that Josh is one of a kind. Since I got pregnant I have been really sick, not throwing up, but constantly tired, constantly weak, and constantly complaining. My husband has not only been working full time, but he's been going to school part time and doing most of the house work as well as still being as good a father he can to our boy down in Texas. I'm not a very cuddly person (especially when I'm sick) and the poor man has borne the brunt of my "Get off of me" "Do you always have to be so close to me?" "Could you move back? Your making me claustrophobic" and all sorts of other more colorful ways of telling him to just move back. He has been all sorts of wonderful and even though I don't always appreciate every gesture, I really do appreciate when he's trying to be there for me. In short I really do love my dear husband even when I'm yelling at him. Even when I don't want what he's offerred, I am glad that he offerred. Even when I'm a horrible witchy pregnant woman, I do appreciate that he's trying to do the best he can on what I'm telling him. I love my perfectly imperfect husband.

Crazy woman driver!!!

So last night Josh and I decided to take a quick walk around our apartment complex. Only fifteen or twenty minutes, but enough that I can mark it off for the day that I got up off my butt and moved. So we were almost all the way around the apartment complex, directly in front of our front gates, when this dark green car pulls in. Now up front in our apartment complex, it's pretty well lit. I was wearing a red jacket and jeans, and josh was wearing a blue shirt with yellow writing and jeans. So this car pulls in and we move into the empty parking spaces so that we're out of the road (our apartment complex doesn't have sidewalks around it, just through it). So we thought we were safe until the car is headed directly towards us. So Josh starts moving the other way thinking that this woman just needs to be where we are, so the lady in the car starts swinging around directly towards Josh so I grab his arm and just come to a dead stop, wondering what in the heck (which wasn't the word which came to mind last night) this lady thinks she's doing and why she's swinging all over the road and moving directly towards us without slowing down. So finally she sees us and stops maybe five feet from where we're standing. I was so pissed off I was ready to walk over and yell at her. It was brightly lit where we were walking, her headlights were shining directly on us, both of us are over five feet tall and neither of us was dressed in something that couldn't be seen. So I have to say, I think the DMV really needs to test driver's eyesight better, especially their night vision. And that woman, I have nothing to say to her now, but my poor husband was really upset because he felt so helpless to protect me and the baby I'm carrying. I felt so bad and was even more pissed off at the lady because it was TOTALLY her fault and not my husband's in any way, shape, or form.

So I just have to get this out there...

So this has been bothering me since I got pregnant and I would just like to correct the whole world who suddenly seems to think that we have evolved as a species and are now pregnant 10 months...we are NOT. 40 weeks divided by four does equal ten. However, four weeks only equals 28 days. So in every month except for February you have at least two, usually three, extra days that YOU AREN'T COUNTING!!! And 2 times 9 equals 18 and 3 times 9 equals 27. So there you go, if you think you are pregnant 10 months you aren't counting 18 to 27 days in your months. So, amount of time you are pregnant is 9 1/2 months at the very most, unless you end up going 42 weeks, at which point you have officially gone closer to 10 months than 9. And you know, the funny thing about the 9 1/2 months thing is that everybody counts from the first day of their last menstrual cycle, which means that you technically weren't pregnant for the first two weeks. Which MEANS that you are ONLY PREGNANT FOR 9 MONTHS!!! Wow, k, now that I've got that off my chest...

I'm getting freaked out about my baby again. I did this last time I was getting ready to go to the doctor's office. It really is hard to wait four full weeks in between knowing for sure that your baby is okay because you can hear the heartbeat up on the monitor. I thought that once I was in my second trimester I would worry less that I was losing my baby, but you know, I think I worry more. I have to wait one more week until I go into the doctor's, and that is exciting because I'll be sixteen and a half weeks along, so either they will do another ultrasound and I'll get to find out the gender of the baby or I'll be able to set up to have the ultrasound done, so I'll have an actual date for when I will find out whether it is a boy or a girl. I'm excited for that.

So I found out last week that my parents are coming here to Vegas (to my brother's house) for Thanksgiving! I can't tell you how excited I am for that. The house that my brother lives in was my parents house for almost twelve years. In July they sold it to my brother and I have to say that it's been weird for me to have that happen. It was like the official ending of my childhood, and it brought me a lot of sorrow. I had a key to that house, but when my brother moved in he changed the locks. I've never not been able to just walk into that house because I've had a key since I was old enough to start going places by myself. It was so odd because the other day I had the greatest desire to just go walk the neighborhood like I used to. I loved going out every day, rain or shine, and just wandering around. Never further than a mile from the house, but there were a lot of good memories in that neighborhood. Anyway, this brings me around to the point of this. I don't remember a Thanksgiving or Christmas that was not in that house. And so it made me really sad when I realized that I wasn't going to be at that house for the holidays, and I wasn't going to be with my mama and dad. So now my parents (and some of my sisters, not sure how many yet) are coming down here to Vegas to celebrate Thanksgiving and I am SOOOO excited! I can't wait until they are here and I'm counting down the days until Thanksgiving!

Oh, and I finally decided that to match my husband's Wolverine costume and facial hair... I'm going to be Rogue for Halloween. Young girl totally in love with older man...yep I think it fits.

New neice!

So I just found out that I have a new little neice and I'm SOOO excited! My oldest sister just had her fourth, a little girl, and they named her Keturah Marie! She was 9 lbs 1 oz and 21 inches long. I'm really excited to find out what I'm having because my sister-in-law Cami is supposed to have a little girl in December. I really want to have a little girl now too! Keeping my fingers crossed.

I guess I'll join the blogging world...

So I guess I'm the only one that didn't know that people wanted me to start a blog. I never knew I was popular enough for people to actually check my blog. LOL. So I guess I'll just put what I was thinking about today. I think it's absolutely ridiculous for people to claim that they weren't showing at all until they were seven months. I'm fifteen weeks today (woo hoo me! I'm now 3/8 of the way done!) and I'm already starting to pop out in front (notice the picture at the top). Now, I believe that there are people who didn't have strangers on the street stopping them and asking them if they were pregnant, but I DO NOT believe that there is anyone out there who maintained the exact same figure (ie didn't show at all) until they were seven months along. Or maybe I'm just a jealous hormonal pregnant lady who still hasn't come to grips with the fact that she's losing her beautiful pre-pregnancy body forever!

So on Monday night I was reading something that was talking about trusting in the Lord. First of all, trusting Him to fight your battles for you against Satan, and second of all just trusting Him with everything in your life. I knew that I had a really hard time with that, but the next morning as I was driving to work I started thinking about it again and a couple of thoughts popped into my head that to me are completely impossible and not going to happen (good things, not bad things). And it was almost like Heavenly Father was saying to me "See, you really don't trust me!" It made me so sad to realize that I only want to trust in Him as much as I want to trust in Him. I trust in Him to help me to be able to be safe as I drive my car and I trust in Him to watch over my husband while he's at work, but I don't trust Him to help me to make decisions (as much as I should) and I don't trust Him to know the best timing and everything for me and my small family. And the funny thing is that even when He does what's best for me I tend to say thank you one time and then continue on with my weird thinking that somehow I can figure this life out on my own and choose what's best for me and my family.

Valerie's really going to regret getting me to start this because not only am I completely random, but I'm constantly thinking about something and now I have a place to put it. LOL...love you Valerie!